Mix: You Wanted The Best, You Got The Best

Mix: You Wanted The Best, You Got The Best

Kiss Supermix

Like most people around my age (if you didn’t have a cooler, older brother), your first glimpse of Kiss was most likely “I Was Made For Lovin’ You”. You may have caught it on Dance Fever or Solid Gold, or were assaulted by its sounds via radio airwaves in 1979. Since I was all of seven years-old at the time, I loved every bouncy, catchy second of it. That was also the last time I thought about Kiss until I began my teenage metalhead years and was thumped over the skull by 1985’s incredible Asylum. Yes, it helped that “Tears Are Falling” was an absolute mega-hit shoved down my throat by heavy MTV rotation and roller-rink DJs. And no, I’m not obtuse enough to think it isn’t that much different than “I Was Made For Lovin’ You” in terms of accessibility and American Bandstand high marks. But it was heavier, harder and sucked me right into the overwhelming world of Kiss.

Shortly thereafter, a metal buddy of mine passed along a double cassette album called Double Platinum, an early greatest hits that sent me right down the Kiss rabbit hole. There wasn’t a song on either tape that I didn’t love, and I played them so much they are barely functional to this day (yes, I still have them—dumb question). Double Platinum was all the old Kiss music I had never been previously exposed to. So at the same time I was just learning the heavy 80s Kiss catalog backwards from Asylum (Animalize, Lick It Up, Creatures Of The Night), I was also coming to the stark realization that this band kicked massive amounts of ass in the 70s. Sure I was familiar with “Rock And Roll All Nite”—you’d have to live in a separate galaxy to not know that song.

But “Strutter”? “Deuce”? “C’mon And Love Me”? “Love Gun?” ALL OF DESTROYER???

My mind was blown.

While they seemed to pick the best pieces from Alice Cooper, The Rolling Stones, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, and The Who, they carefully crafted their own unique vision of total world domination. Were they to do it lyrically? God no. If you were to simply read Kiss lyrics with your speakers on mute, or have someone dictate them to you, I am 100% certain you would think a 14 year-old with a perpetual boner and a GED vocabulary penned nearly all their material. Were they to do it sonically? Strip away the lyrics and you have some incredibly powerful music that sounds a bit derivative and almost repetitive unto its own self. Were they to do it visibly? Well shit, what do you think? Does face paint, leather, high-healed boots, blood and fire work for you? Fuck yeah, of course it does. Still, in most regards, they were copping Alice Cooper, David Bowie and The New York Dolls.

Well what if they were to do it with all three aspects at the same time? Bingo, jackpot, Yahtzee–we have a winner. And they did it like no other band before or since. The point here is that all bands steal from other artists, but Kiss hand-picked their favorite parts and put their own rocket-fueled spin on them. I truly believe they invented the “jaw-dropping arena hard rock” genre.

And they could play. They’ve received much flack over the years for their paint-by-numbers arrangements, but does that make their music any less credible? Have you really ever paid any attention to early Ace Frehley solos? Do you really believe Gene Simmons is just an egomaniac with rudimentary bass-playing skills? Does Paul Stanley’s voice not punch you in both eardrums at the same time? Heck, even Peter Criss sounded great for most of the 70s. Kiss was and is—to whatever extent, with or without the makeup—an audible ass-kicking machine. They live to knock you off your fucking feet.

So back to the beginning. No, I have not included “I Was Made For Lovin’ You”, because if you’re a human being you’ve heard it a trillion times by now (also because STS has brilliantly tainted it forever.) I only included one track off the “disco Kiss” album Dynasty, and it’s a Stones cover sung by a drink-weary Frehley. Nor did I include “Beth”, ground zero for the “hard rock ballad” that would plague our lives for years to come (feel free to travel back in time to your junior prom if you’re dying to hear it). The most notable omission to those already familiar with Kiss is “Hotter Than Hell”; a killer song, but one I have grown tired of over the years. No worries though, just run to the nearest strip club and it will play five times in twenty minutes.

What I tried to do is represent the early Kiss tracks I love on the first half (both typical and atypical), and then weave in the 80s Kiss songs I prayed to as an acne-riddled, mullet-afflicted teen on the second half.

For what it’s worth, I enjoyed making this supermix more than any other I have attempted, and just happy to be back knee-deep in Kiss albums—even 1987’s synth-happy Crazy Nights (don’t worry, I spared you).

Some liner notes before the links:

• I gave at Crazy Nights. Much like most Metallica fans consider the Black Album to be the last true album by that band, I consider Crazy Nights the last Kiss album (they have six studio albums after that, by the way).

• The album after Crazy Nights was 1989’s Hot In The Shade, which contains the thinly veiled anagram of “H.I.T.S.” Guess what? You can move those letters around and spell another word.

• You are not prepared for the first half of this mix. By the time you hit “War Machine”, you will be reaching for a stiff drink and considering the fact that it sounds an awful lot like a prehistoric Pantera and wondering how a song written in 1982 has escaped you for so long.

• Bryan Adams co-wrote “War Machine”. Yes, that Bryan Adams.

• The original album version of “Detroit Rock City”—dishes, car sounds, “Rock And Roll All Nite” playing in the background and tire screeches is a non-negotiable track. (If you are unfamiliar with the story behind this song, you probably live under a nice rock and should brush up).

• As such, no other song can follow “Detroit Rock City” except “King Of The Night Time World.” They are inextricably linked together in perpetuity.

• Just get Destroyer already. Seriously, your life has been sad until this point without it. Annile Alexander would call this a “deathbed album”.

• Not only is “She” an influential song on 90s grunge guitar heroes, but I’m pretty sure it’s wholly responsible for the Riverbottom Nightmare Band.

• The second half is very 80s metal, and if that’s not your thing, so be it. But give it one good spin, because in addition to their usual anthemia, Kiss were unleashing some killer stuff that even headbangers got behind. I tempered it with a bunch of 70s tracks, but I would lie down in traffic for every 80s song on this mix.

• The original lineup—Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley and Peter Criss—basically fell apart around the time of Dynasty. Eric Carr—a vastly superior drummer to Peter Criss on all levels—manned the drums from 1980-1991. Vinnie Vincent—a younger, fresher guitarist with a feel for the new wave of metal shredding—played lead on Creatures Of the Night (1982) and Lick It Up (1983). Unfortunately, he was a bit of a head case and was ushered out of the band, but did go on to create the immensely underrated Vinnie Vincent Invasion. The infinitely underappreciated Mark St. John had a cup of coffee for 1984’s Animalize, but had to leave due to health reasons. The rest of any Kiss albums I care about were led by Bruce Kulick, a ridiculously talented player. So if you’re keeping score or still awake at this point, Kiss had three insane guitarists in the 80s that kept shaping their sounds in different ways. And Eric fucking Carr.

• I made a point in my introduction that this band’s lyrics are fairly vapid. They are, but please do not mistake that to mean I dislike them. They have a song called “Uh! All Night”, and it will be stuck in your head for weeks. They are brainwashing savants, and not only will you deal with it, you will love it.

• They have a song called “Uh! All Night”. Not sure if you caught that.

• In 1980, they released their last album with the original lineup (although Peter Criss had no involvement in the actual recording process), Unmasked. This album sucks so hard that I’m already angry I had to type this liner note. Moving on.

• In 1981, they released a soundtrack album called Music From “The Elder”. I have never seen this movie, and I’m fairly certain it never existed. While there are some good moments on it, I tend to glance over this album in general. This period clearly wasn’t a high watermark in the Kiss chronology.

• I have spared no expense at delivering the highest quality versions of these songs, and even uncharacteristically opted for the 2012 Bob Ezrin remaster of “God Of Thunder”—that song has always begged to sound more like its title than not. Unfortunately, even the remastered version of 1974’s Hotter Than Hell still sounds like it was recorded in a portable toilet. Nothing that can be done about it. May you adjust your ears accordingly.

• If you were to ask me what my favorite Kiss albums were, they would be in the following order: Destroyer, Kiss, Asylum, Love GunLick It Up, Creatures Of The Night. You didn’t, but whatever.

I think you’ve had enough of my ramblings.

You wanted the best, you got the best:

Kiss Supermix 1: God Of Thunder

Kiss Supermix 2: Heaven’s On Fire

Please blare responsibly.

(A big thanks to Joel Deitz for kicking me in the crotch and imploring me to finish this daunting project I started many, many moons ago…)